Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Habit 1: Be Proactive

"Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose."

We make many choices every day. Most of them we hardly think about such as choosing between oatmeal and cereal for breakfast. What we sometimes don't realize is that every day, we choose our mood. No, there's no way we can control all of our circumstances. Bad things are going to happen to each and every one of us. However, according to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, "It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us." We can choose our response to any circumstance.

Unfortunately, as I realized when I read this section of the book, I have lived most of my life as a reactive person. If it rains, my mood is worse. I let what others say and do affect how I feel on a regular basis. I can't stand to make mistakes, and when people try to point them out, I react defensively. I identified so well with the "language of reactive people." For example, sometimes I blame my actions and responses on personality or genetics, which indicates that I'm not responsible for them. Also, I go throughout life thinking about all the things I "have" to do, without admitting that I'm choosing to do them. Living life this way is not fair to myself and certainly not to the people around me. I also tend to have the "I'll be happy when..." mentality. 

Now that I've fully realized my problem, I am going to be proactive and do something about it. As prompted at the end of the Habit 1 section, I'm choosing an experience I will encounter in the near future where I would normally have behaved reactively, and deciding right now to behave proactively instead. For me, this experience is my piano lesson tomorrow. Piano lessons have always been hard for me because of my reactions to criticism and my obsession with being perfect. However, right now I am deciding that tomorrow, I will do my best, and then admit my mistakes and learn from them instead of becoming defensive and protective. I will NOT let the outcome of my lesson ruin the rest of my day. 

I've also decided to do the 30-day test of proactivity. See if you can tell a difference in my mood this week. :)

So long for now! I'll keep you updated!

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